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Showing posts from April, 2010

Wacky Search Terms – April Edition

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Here’s the latest round up of weird and wacky search terms that people have punched into Google and stumbled across Law Actually.  As ever, we’ve got some real corkers in there!“what can i do with a Blur completed with LLB” - do with a what?!?“santa's sleigh risk assessment” – are Kwik Fit offering this now?“i hate pupillage portal” – doesn’t everyone? “secrets of pupillage” - I can feel another book idea coming on!  ;-)“UK law final exams torrent” – you want to download, WHAT?gmail inapprpriate pictures showing up in my attached pictures - oh yeah... that's what they all say!  :p“Can you revise for llb law in one week” – what do you think?“what can be legally sold in the street literally” – as opposed to... figuratively? :-$“what is the name of the ink pen that lawyers use” – oh, please! :p“What is the cut off age for a career at the law bar in uk” – There’s not!. Remember, old lawyers never die; they just lose their appeal.  wah-wah-waaaaah!  ;-)“why is it a law to wear seat…

What kind of reviser / studier are you?

It’s revision / study season and in recognition of the agony students are currently going through, here’s my latest version of ‘what kind of ... are you’.

I think this will be something all of us in the blawgosphere can relate to, though perhaps we should keep the fact we exhibit behaviour falling into some of the less desirable categories to ourselves.  ;-)
What it really meansWe SayTryWhyThe CrammerYou know you should have found that motivation to start revision before now but, you know.... things... kinda.. came up.(hmm.. they always do, don’t they?)If you do well in the exam(s), you won’t have deserved it.And you know, deep down, that’s true. ;-)A bit more dedication next time / learning from past mistakes, eh?Despite what you’ve told yourself all these years, you don’t actually work better under intense pressure.The Self-Righteous ‘Low Voltage’ StudentYou’re as cool as they come and, guess what, you haven’t even done 10 minutes of revision.Oh really?We all know you’re actua…

Man charged with battery after blowing nose all over girlfriend

From Popjolly.com 25/04/10:
A 44 year old man from Crestview, Florida  has been charged with battery after his girlfriend told police that he sealed off one nostril and blew the contents of the other all over her.According to Crestview Police Department’s arrest report, the nostril contained blood and other bodily fluids. The man had been in another altercation which caused his nose to bleed.The report noted that the woman had blood splattered on her face, chest, arms and pants but there were no signs of any injury on her. The man is due in court on May 4.I realise you’re meant to share things with your other half when in a relationship but nose gunk mixed with blood really isn’t one of them.As well as reporting her charming lover to the police, I wonder what else she did to get her own back?!?I’m also curious what stance the DPP would have taken if this had occurred in England / Wales. BTW: I had great fun thinking up titles for this post; alas most of them were un-publishable and had…

Pupillage Portal Survival Kit

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As the Pupillage Portal application deadline fast approaches and applicants across the land are succumbing to 1st degree panic attacks and worse, the Pupillage Portal Survival Kit may be just what you need to, well, survive this mad dash to the finish.It contains:Copy of the pupillage portal for cretins yeah, I’m still beating that dead horse.A bumper pack of caffeine tablets3 bars of choc actually – yes, we’re still trying to shift the stock which didn’t sell.  (It’s not been a hit, sadly).12 sachets of super-high-caffeine instant coffee - it's actually common garden soil but what the heck.  If you're battling with the Pupillage Portal, you're a glutton for punishment already.Novelty USB key for backing-up your saved applications, appropriately in the shape of a wigged barrister... anything for that extra motivation, you know!  :-)2 special fold-out 1 handed computer keyboards – so you can complete two apps at once when you're really cutting that deadline fine.Doub…

Studying law – USA style … in 60 seconds or less

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I stumbled across a post packed full of nuggets of law school wisdom on the quirky blawg of a US law student, curiously named Moonshine Project.  Check out the full post.

Studying - Go apeshit at first… try a little bit of everything. Highlighters, lowlighters, reading every word, skimming, taking notes, making up rap songs about cases, haiku, you name it. … Don’t guilt yourself into a traditional method if it’s not your style.Great advice.  It’s very easy to fall into the trap of thinking you’ve got to adhere to old-skool ways to be successful.  Not so.

Romance - This may sound formulaic, but trust me. Weeks 1-5, KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS. Make friends. There is PLENTY of time to shack up in weeks 6-15 and thereafter, but once you forego the opportunity to get to know lots of people (not just the sexy ones) and instead burn bridges with short-lived stress-induced relationships (don’t fool yourself into thinking they’re more than that) you will never be able to undo that choice.WE…

Micky Mouse Gets Sued

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From avvo.com 15/04/10:
Walt Disney World was taken to court this week as a result of a personal injury trial that contests the safety of one of the Disney's Hollywood Studios' most popular attractions, the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror.
An 80-year-old Pennsylvania man, Marvin Cohen, sued the company in an Orange County court, claiming that he suffering a stroke about 12 years ago after taking a ride on the thrill ride drop tower, the Sarasota Herald Tribune reports.
Cohen's personal injury attorneys will attempt to show that their client was physically active prior to his March 1998 ride on the Tower of Terror, which they claim contributed to the artery tear causing a stroke a few weeks later.
Notably, the lawyers are not claiming that a malfunction occurred in the ride, only that the functional ride itself is dangerous.
"This case is about the placement of show or entertainment over safety," Cohen's lead attorney, Barry Novack, told the jurors during opening arg…

Shaking it in the name of the law

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From the Law Society Gazette 15/04/10:
Think of belly dancing and what image comes to mind? To poetic Obiter, it is a scene of lissome ladies shimmering to exotic music while a handsome sheik, mesmerised, looks on.But now, it seems, the dance is not just for ladies of the desert – it is also becoming popular back in Old Blighty, with quite a few women solicitors taking part. Obiter has gleaned this information from Link, the magazine of the Association of Women Solicitors. City solicitor Jayne, for instance, says she had ‘hit the glass ceiling’ at work and so turned to belly dancing as something she could enjoy as an alternative to the ‘seemingly unattainable goal of partnership’. Jayne is not alone. Law graduate Anita teaches belly dancing and is a member of a professional dance troupe, the Baby Bliss Girls. Aspiring solicitor Norsheen Bhatti, the Tory candidate for Stoke on Trent Central, also takes part, while Vanessa da Silva turned her back on a career in the law to become a succ…

Licensed Conveyancers to change name.... but to what?

From: Solicitors Journal 12/04/10: The Council for Licensed Conveyancers (CLC) is considering changing its name as part of a push to obtain greater rights to regulate litigation and advocacy, Solicitors Journal has learned.Meanwhile, it has emerged that ILEX Professional Standards, the regulatory arm of ILEX, is to seek extended conveyancing, litigation and advocacy rights for its members.According to regulatory website legalfutures.co.uk, ILEX will apply for the new rights by the end of the year. It has already applied to the LSB for litigation and probate rights for legal executives and to regulate the work of associate prosecutors working in the CPS.The Legal Services Board’s consumer panel, which backed the CLC’s plans for greater rights, also suggested that a change of name might be necessary.“Many consumers would presumably expect a professional called a ‘licensed conveyancer’ to undertake conveyancing,” the consumer panel, chaired by Dianne Hayter, said in a paper published las…

Primark drops its padded bikini for seven-year-old girls

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From the Times 14/04/10:Primark, the clothing chain, today ordered padded bikini bras for girls as young as seven to be removed from sale immediately after criticism that they sexualised children.The company apologised for any offence caused by the £4 item and said profits from any bikinis already sold would be donated to a children’s charity.Nice save. Possibly.The Children’s Society lambasted the High Street store for “premature sexualisation and inappropriate advertising”, while Shy Keenan, a child protection consultant with Phoenix Chief Advocates, which helps victims of paedophiles, called for a boycott of Primark until the bikini top was withdrawn.David Cameron also intervened in the row and condemned sale of the item, which came in candy pink with gold stars or black with white polka dots, as “completely disgraceful.”Bully for Dave, eh?[Previously] Asda was criticised for selling lace lingerie, including a push-up bra, which were aimed at young girls, and Tesco withdrew a pole-…

The Ultimate Pupillage Portal Guide

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Sick of those Pupillage Portal applications?  Tired of trying to snare that elusive pupillage, only too aware that you’re surrounded by countless others in the same boat, all poised to pounce on the same opportunity?  Yes, it’s that time of year again: BVC-ers past and present have all joined the pupillage race, and have flocked to the Pupillage Portal in droves to submit those precious applications.  Fortuitously, help is at hand with the the brand new book, The Pupillage Portal for Cretins – which Law Actually is proud to endorse.Penned by long-time ‘rejectee’ Carly ‘the chancer’ Collins, the book leads the reader on a helter skelter tour of how to play the portal to your advantage, whack in ‘crazy good’ pupillage applications and otherwise help you keep your head while all around you other would-be barristers are losing theirs.It provides a no-nonsense guide to Pupillage Portal best practice which should stand any pupillage-seeker in good stead when going about those dreaded applic…

Toilet Seat Up or Down: Pros and Cons

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Another corker found via Digg:Interesting argument, though I’m not sure many ladies would agree!  :-)

What kind of blawger are you?

I realise I’m pushing my luck with this one a bit but I’m hoping the ‘sphere take it with good-humoured grace that typically characterises us all! :-)  Or I might just get a slap from Andro again!But surely, being able to laugh at yourself is the sign of a good, down-to-earth blawger?
What it really meansWe SayTryMost likely to beThe intermittent blawger You’re kind of a hardcore blogger, just without the hardcore bit Good job. When you can be bothered, that is A bit more dedication :p Lost London Law Student, Swiss Tony,
Curious Black Cat The over-productive blawger You’ve too much spare time on your hands ;-) You can have too much of a good thing Easing off the gas sometimes Charon QC, Andro I’m on my soapbox and there’s no getting me off it You’re a cyberspatial busy-body We like human rights but not this much ;-) Mind bending drugs Ramblings of a Scottish Student,Law Actually (re. Facebook… kind of)The Moaner You like nothing better than a good bitch about something…

A very sad day for legal research

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Well, my legal research at least.Yes, it's official. The university at which I completed my LLM has finally suspended my IT account meaning I've lost access to the plethora of precious legal databases which all law students are groomed to fall in love with. It’s just as well I got that paper written before the end of last month, eh, and spent the past few weeks downloading just about everything from Lexis’ Forms and Precedents that I think I’ll need for the future.Just kidding. Or am I? ;-)Actually, I'm surprised it's taken them this long to deactivate it. The uni I was at during my undergrad years, suspended accounts with the eagerness of an overzealous guillotine operator from the French Revolution. I found this out to my detriment whilst studying abroad on the ERASMUS scheme!As we’d got to March, I was beginning to hope they might leave me 'on their books' until the next cohort were enrolled in September.  Obviously my luck didn’t hold.  A very sad day inde…

Man sues pet store after slipping in…

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Yes, you guessed it.  And I would imagine it wasn’t pretty!From Los Angeles Times 03/04/10: A Virginia man is suing PetSmart for $1 million after he slipped in a pile of you-know-what at a Newport News store location during a trip to purchase dog food and bird seed in early 2009.The man, Robert Holloway, says he badly injured his back, requiring surgery, and lost four false teeth in the incident.Wow – I hope he didn’t go face-down in the stuff! Else that really would be adding insult to injury.The suit alleges that PetSmart staff "negligently allowed animals to enter the premises and deposit feces in such a manner as to create a dangerous and hazardous condition," according to documents acquired by the Virginian-Pilot. Goodove says Holloway didn't see the feces because they blended in with the color of the store's floor.Fancy. What a charming shade that floor must be.The Virginian-Pilot reports that the suit was initially filed in Norfolk Circuit Court, but PetSmart…

Don’t ya just hate it when…

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I don’t listen to music or podcasts at work (obviously) but I do quite often outside of work when I’m tinkering away on my ‘puter.  And yes, this has happened to me a few times over the years – though I’m not distracted by cats, thank God.Found via Digg (as ever)!

Wacky Search Terms March 2010

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“risotto accident” – I’m guessing this either resulted in a personal injury claim or an urgent trip to the bathroom! Or possibly both! ;-)

“open university llb crap” – I’m sure it’s not that bad! “chocolate lawyers” – I could have made a choc-actually version for Easter – along the same theme as a hollow bunny.

“law only law nice websites” - Oh please, don't tell me law actually is a 'nice' website.

“hot pubis” - oh dear.  An overheating pelvis can never be a good thing!  :-$

“what is the preferred font for a legal letter?” - that is actually a good question - any ideas?

“stray sperm in law” – Not quite sure how to interpret that!

“real life experiences in hell” – LOL, and came back to tell the tale, eh?“cheapest llb uk” - Remember - you get what you pay for!  :p“law cases involving sentimental loss of plant uk” – oh bless. You’ll be lucky.“what do you do if you poke yourself in the eye and see blck dots” – well, for starters, I’d guess you’d say, “ouch…

Inappropriate pictures for Easter: off-putting urinals

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I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to share this, regardless of how inappropriate the timing might be.
Which in turn reminded of this picture I found ages ago:I know – I should have better taste!